Trauma

My Papa, grandfather, passed away just barely a week ago. I helped my mother provide comfort/hospice care during his final days. Specifically his last 12 hours or so. I can't sleep without aid anymore. He passed peacefully AFTER 8-10 laboring hours, trying to get his meds regulated, his pain under control, him moaning. He was awake, he was weak couldn't move, couldn't open his eyes, we saw tears, eventually we got his meds under control, we think and he was able to rest before his final breathe. I know whatever suffering came at home before he went is what he wanted, but I can't get the sounds, the looks, just any of it out of my head. We didn't get my grandma up until he asked for her (only with grunts from yes or no questions). I know, this pain is mine, he is fine now, but my imagination, and memories are so vivid. I just really can't sleep.